I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
