Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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