hotel room ftw
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
