But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
