you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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