I just made out with a guy for $7.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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