im six kinds of drunk right now
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
