Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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