Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
