just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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