shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
