All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
