I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
