...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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