if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
