and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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