And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
