I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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