the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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