Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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