When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
