do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
