a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize