So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
