Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You dont lie about slip and slides
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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