I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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