I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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