Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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