Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
