the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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