I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
