I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
