i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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