I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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