Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
