dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
