Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
