if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
