you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
