We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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