Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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