he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
