i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
