If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
