First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
