My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
