FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
