your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
