he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
