Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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