there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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