i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
