I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
