cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
