Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me

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(410): View more from Maryland

I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.

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(281): View more from Texas

Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.

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(260): View more from Indiana

I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me

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(757): View more from Virginia

Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS

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