hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
