just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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