There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
