Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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